Wednesday, August 11, 2010


... I am hurt. I am broken hearted. I am sad. I am angry. I feel sick. I feel overwhelmed. I want to hate you.

And yet... I have peace. I have calm. I have healing. I have love. I have love for you despite how much my heart hurts.

That can only come from God. Only God can show me healing when I am broken. Only God can show me peace when I am angry. Only God can show me love when I don't want to feel it. Only God can teach me love when every human bone in my body wants to hate.

The truth is, I can't hate you. It isn't possible. I don't know how. I don't know how to NOT love you. And as much as it hurts, I am thankful for that. Because with love comes forgiveness, and redemption. If I can love you even an ounce of how much God loves me... If you can see me love you even through this, than maybe you will see a glimpse of the love Christ offers us.

I am praying today.... I am praying that you give your life to Christ. That you surrender your heart to Him and turn away from everything else. I am praying for me... praying that I show you love, even when it hurts... especially when it hurts. I am praying that I fight through my earthly feelings, and instead take Godly actions.

There is nothing I can do now, except for love you and trust in the Lord.  And that... that is enough.



  1. Oh sweetie, to see this post breaks my heart. But I am so proud of you and how strong you are in the Lord. Continue to rest in the Lord Amber, He will take care of the rest. We are praying for you two.

  2. I'm praying with you. Tough post; I'm proud of you.

  3. I know you are busy with the new job and all, but I just wanted to let you know I posted a sponsor post. Here it is: