... I am hurt. I am broken hearted. I am sad. I am angry. I feel sick. I feel overwhelmed. I want to hate you.
And yet... I have peace. I have calm. I have healing. I have love. I have love for you despite how much my heart hurts.
That can only come from God. Only God can show me healing when I am broken. Only God can show me peace when I am angry. Only God can show me love when I don't want to feel it. Only God can teach me love when every human bone in my body wants to hate.
The truth is, I can't hate you. It isn't possible. I don't know how. I don't know how to NOT love you. And as much as it hurts, I am thankful for that. Because with love comes forgiveness, and redemption. If I can love you even an ounce of how much God loves me... If you can see me love you even through this, than maybe you will see a glimpse of the love Christ offers us.
I am praying today.... I am praying that you give your life to Christ. That you surrender your heart to Him and turn away from everything else. I am praying for me... praying that I show you love, even when it hurts... especially when it hurts. I am praying that I fight through my earthly feelings, and instead take Godly actions.
There is nothing I can do now, except for love you and trust in the Lord. And that... that is enough.