The first one was when I flew to Spokane for my job interview. I had spent the weekend in Portland with a few friends, and then flew from Portland to Spokane. I had an early morning flight, and I spent some time just sitting and drinking my Starbucks. I boarded the plane, and as I was sitting there waiting for the plane to take off, I realized something... I realized that this flight, this one flight to Spokane, could completely change my life. I realized that by me taking the risk of shelling out the money to fly to Spokane for a job interview, I could be completely changing the course of my life.
At that moment, the plane left the ground, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. It was a defining moment for me. A moment when felt stronger than I have ever felt before.
Fast forward 2 weeks to my moving day. It had been a stressful, painful, and exhausting few weeks as I packed up my life, said "see ya later" to my friends and family, and also, sadly, said "goodbye" to my Grandma as she left this earth. I was pretty emotionally spent by the time I hopped into my UHaul and waved goodbye to my friends. Add in the fact that I had never driven a UHaul towing a vehicle before, and the fact that it was pouring sheets of rain, and you might understand why I suddenly had a breakdown and started sobbing as I drove down the street I grew up on. I called my friend Jen, and she just said "It's okay, you can do this." I knew she was right. Sure, I was scared. Sure, I was alone. But I also was going to be okay. I just needed someone to remind me. another one of those moments.
A few days and many moving boxes later, I said goodbye to my Momma at the Spokane Airport. She had stayed with me for the first few days, helping me get settled. And then, far too soon, it was time for her to go home, back to her own life. I drove her to the airport, and of course we had a teary goodbye. I cried a few tears on the drive back to work, realizing that I was going home to an empty apartment that evening. But that evening, I wasn't as sad as I thought i would be. I felt calm. I felt peaceful. I felt happy. I sat therein my apartment, just me and my new little kitten, and I realized that I was really doing it. I was really starting over and creating a new life for myself. That moment felt pretty amazing.
But the best of these moments came last night. July 4th, 2012. The whole day was pretty excellent... time spent in the park with girlfriends, shopping, walking downtown and by the river, and playing with an adorable pup. Eventually, I found myself down by the River, enjoying some live music and waiting for the fireworks. 10pm came, and suddenly the sky lit up and the unmistakable booming sound of fireworks began. As I sat there, gazing at the amazing view above me, I cried. I cried for what I lost, and for what I have gained. I cried for what was left behind, and for what is yet to come. I cried for the times I felt weak, that have made me stronger than ever. I cried for the girl I once was, and the woman I have become. I cried happy tears for what my future holds. I cried because on this day, a day celebrating freedom, I felt more free than I ever have before.
I hope you all had an amazing holiday, I know I did. Happy 4th of July, from Spokane. :-)