Writing to My Sisters

Christy & Kelly:

I'm going to write you a both a letter this week, and get out some feelings that I have never been able to say. Even today, when we had our little confrontation in the store parking lot, I just couldn't seem to get the right words out of my mouth.... they were blocked by the lump in my throat and the knot in my stomach. I couldn't get out the right words because I could feel the tears in my eyes coming closer with every word I spoke. So, I'm going to write to you instead.

Then, I am going to respect your wishes and never contact either of you again. It is pointless for me to continue to try and have a relationship with two people who apparently hate the sister that they have never actually known. Of course, you only hate the version of me that has been described to you, which is not who I actually I am at all. So, I will let go, and not try any more. However, I want you to know that I will never stop being your sister, and I will never stop loving you or praying for you.

If one day you realize you made a mistake and you want to know me after all, I will be here. I will always be available to you in that way, because that's what family does. I have never wanted anything more than to be your big sister and your friend. I have desired that relationship for as long as I can remember, and I have been denied that over and over again. So for now, until you change your mind, I am just going to stop putting myself in the place where it is so easy for me to be hurt be your selfish actions.

I don't know if you will ever see this blog post... part of me secretly hopes you are curious like me and you google my name just to see what comes up... If you do, maybe you will read this. Of course, I don't know if you will read the letter I send you either. For all I know you may drop it in the trash as soon as you realize it is from me. If you do, well... oh well I guess, Not much I can do about that. I tried, and now I am done trying.

This is the only picture I have of all three of us together. To my knowledge, it is the only one that even exists. I hope that changes some day, but I'm not holding my breath any more.

I love you still, Amber

Wedding Post, Part 1: The Cake & Candy Bar

This past weekend, I had the pleasure and the honor of helping my friend Kelly with her wedding.

I have known Kelly and her family since I was about 10... maybe younger. Kelly, her sister Megan and I always looked similar as kids, and spent a ton of time with each other, so I became their adopted sister. They were both bridesmaids in my wedding 6 years ago. We have always had the kind of relationship that you can come back to, even after not seeing each other or talking in a long time. Just like sisters. Oh, and we bicker like sisters too. :-P

From the very beginning of the wedding planning we knew I would make her cake (of course!), but eventually I also became her official Wedding Coordinator. I love weddings, and I usually end up filling this role at friends weddings anyways, so it only seemed natural that I would be that person for Kelly. At the end of the day, I had worn many hats, including that of cake decorator/cutter/server, DJ, bar attendant, driver, forgotten marriage licence retriever (LOL), stress reducer, and probably a few others. Basically, I was there to make sure that Kelly and Will's wedding went as smoothly as possible, and I do think that I succeeded. The wedding was beautiful, and so many people pitched in all over the place to pull it all together.

Despite being incredibly busy, I did manage to sneak off and take a few pictures throughout the night, or at least until Kelly's camera died! I don't have all of them yet, so I am just going to post them as I get them uploaded. First up: the cake!

I spent most of the week working on her cake, and I was thrilled with how it turned out! The inspiration for Kelly's cake came from Marth Stewart Weddings. There was a cake on the cover of the magazine that was plain white, with a swarm of multi-colored butterflies cascading up the cake. That is what Kelly wanted, just in pink. I love the butterflies!

Kelly also asked me to put together her candy bar, so I decided to have the cake and candy on the same table. My mom and I decorated all the containers for the candy, and then I just set up the table.

For the candy bar, we had Rock Candy, small and large Whirly Pops, Watermelon Licorice, M&M's, Strawberry Gummy Puffs, and Raspberry Chocolates, all in pink of course!

This was the first candy bar I have done, and also the biggest wedding cake I have made. All in all, I was thrilled with the result, and so was the Bride.

I can't wait for the chance to do it again!

~Amber

P.S. I am linking this blog post up to Sweet Shot Tuesday for their photo challenge. The first photo in this post is my "sweet shot" for the week!