This is the happiest I have been in a long time. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt this happy, peaceful, and relaxed. I'm loving life right now... I hope you are as well. :-)
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Those Moments...
Have you ever had one of those moments? One of those unique moments where you can just feel your life changing? One of those moments when you just stop and take in everything around you, and realize how far you have come and how far you could go? I have had a few moments like that lately.
The first one was when I flew to Spokane for my job interview. I had spent the weekend in Portland with a few friends, and then flew from Portland to Spokane. I had an early morning flight, and I spent some time just sitting and drinking my Starbucks. I boarded the plane, and as I was sitting there waiting for the plane to take off, I realized something... I realized that this flight, this one flight to Spokane, could completely change my life. I realized that by me taking the risk of shelling out the money to fly to Spokane for a job interview, I could be completely changing the course of my life.
I hope you all had an amazing holiday, I know I did. Happy 4th of July, from Spokane. :-)
The first one was when I flew to Spokane for my job interview. I had spent the weekend in Portland with a few friends, and then flew from Portland to Spokane. I had an early morning flight, and I spent some time just sitting and drinking my Starbucks. I boarded the plane, and as I was sitting there waiting for the plane to take off, I realized something... I realized that this flight, this one flight to Spokane, could completely change my life. I realized that by me taking the risk of shelling out the money to fly to Spokane for a job interview, I could be completely changing the course of my life.
At that moment, the plane left the ground, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. It was a defining moment for me. A moment when felt stronger than I have ever felt before.
Fast forward 2 weeks to my moving day. It had been a stressful, painful, and exhausting few weeks as I packed up my life, said "see ya later" to my friends and family, and also, sadly, said "goodbye" to my Grandma as she left this earth. I was pretty emotionally spent by the time I hopped into my UHaul and waved goodbye to my friends. Add in the fact that I had never driven a UHaul towing a vehicle before, and the fact that it was pouring sheets of rain, and you might understand why I suddenly had a breakdown and started sobbing as I drove down the street I grew up on. I called my friend Jen, and she just said "It's okay, you can do this." I knew she was right. Sure, I was scared. Sure, I was alone. But I also was going to be okay. I just needed someone to remind me. another one of those moments.
A few days and many moving boxes later, I said goodbye to my Momma at the Spokane Airport. She had stayed with me for the first few days, helping me get settled. And then, far too soon, it was time for her to go home, back to her own life. I drove her to the airport, and of course we had a teary goodbye. I cried a few tears on the drive back to work, realizing that I was going home to an empty apartment that evening. But that evening, I wasn't as sad as I thought i would be. I felt calm. I felt peaceful. I felt happy. I sat therein my apartment, just me and my new little kitten, and I realized that I was really doing it. I was really starting over and creating a new life for myself. That moment felt pretty amazing.
But the best of these moments came last night. July 4th, 2012. The whole day was pretty excellent... time spent in the park with girlfriends, shopping, walking downtown and by the river, and playing with an adorable pup. Eventually, I found myself down by the River, enjoying some live music and waiting for the fireworks. 10pm came, and suddenly the sky lit up and the unmistakable booming sound of fireworks began. As I sat there, gazing at the amazing view above me, I cried. I cried for what I lost, and for what I have gained. I cried for what was left behind, and for what is yet to come. I cried for the times I felt weak, that have made me stronger than ever. I cried for the girl I once was, and the woman I have become. I cried happy tears for what my future holds. I cried because on this day, a day celebrating freedom, I felt more free than I ever have before.
I hope you all had an amazing holiday, I know I did. Happy 4th of July, from Spokane. :-)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
My New Home
Well my friends, this evening I am writing to you from one of my new favorite places in downtown Spokane... The Onion. It is a fabulous restaurant and bar, with amazing food all freshly made with luckily grown products. Tonight, I am enjoying a delicious hummus platter, along with a Widmer Hef & Orange Juice. YUM! Lucky for me, this place is just across the street from my new apartment, so I am sure I will be here often. Especially since it is currently the closest place I can get Wifi, as my apartment will not be set up for awhile. :-)
I have now been in Spokane for 6 days, and so far, I am really enjoying it. I love my new job, and finding that I fit into the position very well. I am extremely grateful to my past supervisors who have over the years prepared me for this position. A month ago, I would have never guessed that I would currently be in Spokane, starting a new career that wasn't even in my sites. It's amazing how God works sometimes. I am in a new place, far away from all I know and love, and yet I am incredibly happy and excited to start this chapter of my life.
My new apartment is pretty great as well. It is small, as expected with a downtown city apartment, but there is plenty of room for me and my kitten.Oh yes, I got a kitten. She is quite adorable, and enjoying terrorizing the apartment every chance she gets! Back to my apartment... It is a 1 bedroom with an office. the living room and dining room are basically one room, and there isn't a whole lot of storage. But, it has a tiny little balcony off of the bedroom, is about 2 blocks from my office, and the walls are NOT WHITE! Anyone who has lived in an apartment for any extended period of time can appreciate not having stark white walls! It's nice to have a little color around me. Now, I just have to finish unpacking, and get rid of a few things, and then my little home will be perfect.
I really like the city too. There is stuff to do everywhere.... restaurants, bars, coffee shops, stores, malls, museums, and parks everywhere. There is no lack of things to do. The parks are truly amazing. One of my favorite things so far is to hit my favorite coffee shop (Thomas Hammer, by the way) and then cruise Riverfront Park for awhile.... take in the river and waterfalls... it's so peaceful. Oh! And there are so many events around here! This weekend is Hoopfest, which is a hug Basketball event. And then after that, they have Pig Out in the Park, which obviously is a big food event. There are many others during the year, and during these events, they shut down the downtown streets, and I will be right in the middle of it all! They also have a Cruise Night every Friday that goes right in front of my apartment! So yeah, you could say I like it here. Good thing, because I plan on being here for a bit!
I've made some friends too! No surprise there for anyone who knows me.... give me 5 minutes and I'll find 5 new friends! I am not shy, and I am not afraid to start a conversation with a perfect stranger! Hahaha!! It's nice to already have some girls that I can call and chat with. I have already been invited on a campout with a group of girls.... can't wait for that!
What do I miss? Well, I miss my family, and my friends. I miss my CCC crew and co-workers. I miss my coffee guy, and my pharmacist. (Yes, my pharmacist... he's awesome! Got to Luke's Yreka Drug Store if you don't believe me!) I miss my favorite pub and all the staff their that I love. I miss my doctor too... she is pretty awesome. I miss my girlfriends so very much. I miss the little things about living in a small town. But you know what? It's all worth it. Moving here, starting over, leaving everything behind... it's all worth it for the opportunity I have been given.
A week ago, I was starting to get pretty scared about this move. What if I fail? What if I hate it? What if it's a huge mistake? But I am not scared anymore. I'm actually feeling pretty peaceful. I feel like I am home. It's nice to feel like that.
That's what's going on in my world. I plan on posting soon with some pictures too, so stay tuned for that.
~Amber
I have now been in Spokane for 6 days, and so far, I am really enjoying it. I love my new job, and finding that I fit into the position very well. I am extremely grateful to my past supervisors who have over the years prepared me for this position. A month ago, I would have never guessed that I would currently be in Spokane, starting a new career that wasn't even in my sites. It's amazing how God works sometimes. I am in a new place, far away from all I know and love, and yet I am incredibly happy and excited to start this chapter of my life.
My new apartment is pretty great as well. It is small, as expected with a downtown city apartment, but there is plenty of room for me and my kitten.Oh yes, I got a kitten. She is quite adorable, and enjoying terrorizing the apartment every chance she gets! Back to my apartment... It is a 1 bedroom with an office. the living room and dining room are basically one room, and there isn't a whole lot of storage. But, it has a tiny little balcony off of the bedroom, is about 2 blocks from my office, and the walls are NOT WHITE! Anyone who has lived in an apartment for any extended period of time can appreciate not having stark white walls! It's nice to have a little color around me. Now, I just have to finish unpacking, and get rid of a few things, and then my little home will be perfect.
I really like the city too. There is stuff to do everywhere.... restaurants, bars, coffee shops, stores, malls, museums, and parks everywhere. There is no lack of things to do. The parks are truly amazing. One of my favorite things so far is to hit my favorite coffee shop (Thomas Hammer, by the way) and then cruise Riverfront Park for awhile.... take in the river and waterfalls... it's so peaceful. Oh! And there are so many events around here! This weekend is Hoopfest, which is a hug Basketball event. And then after that, they have Pig Out in the Park, which obviously is a big food event. There are many others during the year, and during these events, they shut down the downtown streets, and I will be right in the middle of it all! They also have a Cruise Night every Friday that goes right in front of my apartment! So yeah, you could say I like it here. Good thing, because I plan on being here for a bit!
I've made some friends too! No surprise there for anyone who knows me.... give me 5 minutes and I'll find 5 new friends! I am not shy, and I am not afraid to start a conversation with a perfect stranger! Hahaha!! It's nice to already have some girls that I can call and chat with. I have already been invited on a campout with a group of girls.... can't wait for that!
What do I miss? Well, I miss my family, and my friends. I miss my CCC crew and co-workers. I miss my coffee guy, and my pharmacist. (Yes, my pharmacist... he's awesome! Got to Luke's Yreka Drug Store if you don't believe me!) I miss my favorite pub and all the staff their that I love. I miss my doctor too... she is pretty awesome. I miss my girlfriends so very much. I miss the little things about living in a small town. But you know what? It's all worth it. Moving here, starting over, leaving everything behind... it's all worth it for the opportunity I have been given.
A week ago, I was starting to get pretty scared about this move. What if I fail? What if I hate it? What if it's a huge mistake? But I am not scared anymore. I'm actually feeling pretty peaceful. I feel like I am home. It's nice to feel like that.
That's what's going on in my world. I plan on posting soon with some pictures too, so stay tuned for that.
~Amber
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Big Changes
Friends, I move to Spokane, Washington in 2 days.
Thursday, June 21st will be my last day at my current job and my last day in Yreka. After that, I will move on to a new chapter in my life. New career, new apartment, new state... new friends too, but of course I will be constantly in touch with all my friends elsewhere as well. I am so very excited for this change in my life, and I can't wait to get started. This came at the perfect time for me, at a time when I am ready for a change and ready to take the next step forward.
I'll be offline for awhile as I get settled in my new home and at my new job. After that, I am looking forward to blogging about my new adventures in Washington!
~Amber
Thursday, June 21st will be my last day at my current job and my last day in Yreka. After that, I will move on to a new chapter in my life. New career, new apartment, new state... new friends too, but of course I will be constantly in touch with all my friends elsewhere as well. I am so very excited for this change in my life, and I can't wait to get started. This came at the perfect time for me, at a time when I am ready for a change and ready to take the next step forward.
I'll be offline for awhile as I get settled in my new home and at my new job. After that, I am looking forward to blogging about my new adventures in Washington!
~Amber
June 19, 2012
I thought today would be a bittersweet day.~Amber
I thought I would be sad... sad for what once was and will never be again... sad for what I thought we had and thought we would always have... sad that a chapter of my story has come to an end. But I’m not sad anymore.
I’m in a better place today than I have ever been. I’m starting a new chapter of my life, moving on to bigger and better things for myself. I’m happy. Actually, I’m more than happy, I’m elated. I’m excited about what this next chapter in my life has in store.
Today isn't bittersweet like I thought it would be. Today is a sweet day. It is, and will always be a reminder of what once was, but now, it will also always be a reminder of what it took for me to find myself again... what I went through to get to a place where I am at peace… At peace with myself and at peace with life.
This is my "beauty from ashes" story... and it will be filled with beauty. Today, I celebrate new beginnings. Today, I embark on a new and exciting adventure. Today, I turn the pain of my past into the dreams of my future. Today I will turn something painful and ugly into something glorious and beautiful. Today is a sweet day.
A year ago, I thought it was the end, but it is only the beginning. I thought my heart would never heal, but I am now happy and healthy. I thought I lost it all, but I actually gained everything. I felt weak, but I found I am stronger than ever. I didn't know where my life was headed, and now I am embarking on a new adventure that I never could have imagined.
June 19, 2012... This is a sweet day. This is my day. I am reclaiming it for myself and creating new, happy memories that will last a lifetime. I am no longer interested in what once was... I am focused on what is, and what will be!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Making Progress and Starting Over...
Wow, it has been quite the crazy last few weeks! I have some big possible changes coming up in my life, which I will share today. But first, and update on my weight loss and work out progress!
As of yesterday, I have officially lost 50 pounds!!! I am so excited about that! I still have another 60 pounds to lose, but I am so stoked that I have made it this far and I am almost halfway to my goal! Woohoo!!
As for working out, I have been struggling with that a bit lately. My weeks have been busy, and I have just not had the time to workout like I was. Also, I have kind of hit a wall with the 5k training. I was on week 4, which is where the jogging distances start to get a bit longer. I am just not to the point yet where I can jog for 5 minutes straight, so I have found myself getting frustrated that I am not finishing my runs. UGH! Also, a number of things have come up lately that are going to keep me from running the 5k on June 16th. I just don't have the time. BUT, I am not giving up on this goal! I decided that I am going to start over on the C25K plan, from week 1. I am hoping that doing that will help me continue to build up in my running ability and endurance so that I can keep with the plan. I WILL still run a 5k, I just don't know when yet. At the very latest, I am still planning on running in the Color Me Rad 5k on September 1st!
Okay, so now that I am all caught up on that, let me explain why life has been so crazy lately. I am in a transition period of my life right now. Going through a divorce was certainly not what I expected at this time in my life, but it is what it is, and I am working to grow through this whole experience and become a better me. Right now, I am focusing on career goals and on moving. I love this small town that I live in... It is my home, and always will be. But, living in a town of 6000 people when you are dealing with some heavy stuff can be draining. It is also kind of hard to start a new life when you live in such a small place. It is time for me to move on to a new future. I started looking for jobs in other areas a few months ago. I had a few prospects, but nothing solid. Then, 2 weeks ago, a job opportunity came up out of the blue. I am flying to Spokane, Washington this Monday for an interview that could be life changing. If I get this job, I will be moving far away from everyone I know, and starting over in a new place, with a new career! I am so excited/nervous/scared/happy about this possibility!! We will see what happens, but if I get the job, I could be moving within the month.
In the mean time, I also have a wedding cake to make, a few graduation parties, a mission trip to Utah, among some other things.... oh yeah, an work, and working out and all that jazz. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to be busy, so this is really like heaven to me! :-)
Hope you are having a good week, whatever you are up to. I'll be around soon with more updates from my world.
~Amber
As of yesterday, I have officially lost 50 pounds!!! I am so excited about that! I still have another 60 pounds to lose, but I am so stoked that I have made it this far and I am almost halfway to my goal! Woohoo!!
As for working out, I have been struggling with that a bit lately. My weeks have been busy, and I have just not had the time to workout like I was. Also, I have kind of hit a wall with the 5k training. I was on week 4, which is where the jogging distances start to get a bit longer. I am just not to the point yet where I can jog for 5 minutes straight, so I have found myself getting frustrated that I am not finishing my runs. UGH! Also, a number of things have come up lately that are going to keep me from running the 5k on June 16th. I just don't have the time. BUT, I am not giving up on this goal! I decided that I am going to start over on the C25K plan, from week 1. I am hoping that doing that will help me continue to build up in my running ability and endurance so that I can keep with the plan. I WILL still run a 5k, I just don't know when yet. At the very latest, I am still planning on running in the Color Me Rad 5k on September 1st!
Okay, so now that I am all caught up on that, let me explain why life has been so crazy lately. I am in a transition period of my life right now. Going through a divorce was certainly not what I expected at this time in my life, but it is what it is, and I am working to grow through this whole experience and become a better me. Right now, I am focusing on career goals and on moving. I love this small town that I live in... It is my home, and always will be. But, living in a town of 6000 people when you are dealing with some heavy stuff can be draining. It is also kind of hard to start a new life when you live in such a small place. It is time for me to move on to a new future. I started looking for jobs in other areas a few months ago. I had a few prospects, but nothing solid. Then, 2 weeks ago, a job opportunity came up out of the blue. I am flying to Spokane, Washington this Monday for an interview that could be life changing. If I get this job, I will be moving far away from everyone I know, and starting over in a new place, with a new career! I am so excited/nervous/scared/happy about this possibility!! We will see what happens, but if I get the job, I could be moving within the month.
In the mean time, I also have a wedding cake to make, a few graduation parties, a mission trip to Utah, among some other things.... oh yeah, an work, and working out and all that jazz. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to be busy, so this is really like heaven to me! :-)
Hope you are having a good week, whatever you are up to. I'll be around soon with more updates from my world.
~Amber
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Off Track
My friends, I have fallen off track a bit. I haven't done my C25K workout in almost a week, and I missed kickboxing this week! My eating hasn't been terrible, but it hasn't been great either. I haven't been drinking enough water for sure!
I'm not saying this to beat myself up, but just to hold myself accountable, and to hopefully spur myself on to get back on track. It's easy to get distracted when life gets crazy, but I still have goals that I need to keep working towards. It is time for me to hop back on track and get to work!
Tomorrow, I am going to get up early, and do my C25K workout first thing. Then, after work, I will have kickboxing. I plan on finishing week 4 of the C25K training this week, so I need to really stick to it to make that happen!
If you are having an off week (or month/year/etc), please don't be discouraged! Hop back on track with me, and get to work! I have more energy just thinking about it!
Have a great rest of the week, friends. I will be enjoying a 4 day weekend, and numerous workouts. :-)
~Amber
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